Before you critcise a man walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticise him you are a mile away and you have his shoes.
"Don't shoot him. You'll just make him angry." Gene Wilder as Jim in "Blazing Saddles"
"Now why the H*** should I have to press 1 for English?"
-Unnamed Coworker when calling tech support for a famous American technology company.
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2016-11-14 00:27:33 UTC
i stumble on Steven Wright expenses humorous. listed right here are a number of them i discovered online. “final twelve months I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He became utilising a dotted line. He caught the different fish.” “All people who have self assurance in psychokinesis advance my hand.” “ok, so what's the fee of dark?” “How do you tell once you're out of invisible ink?” “help micro organism - they are the only lifestyle some people have.” “My apartment became robbed and each thing became replaced with good replicas...I informed my roommate and he mentioned 'Do i comprehend you?'” “the day gone by I informed a poultry to circulate the line. It mentioned, "What for?"” “I Xeroxed my watch. Now I certainly have time to spare.” “I positioned prompt espresso in a microwave oven and extremely almost went back in time.” “I wrote a music, yet i can't study music so i do no longer understand what it it. each each so usually i would be listening to the radio and that i say, ‘i think of i could have written that’.” “I put in a skylight in my apartment...the persons who stay above me are livid!” “My house is on the median strip of a street. you do no longer likely notice, different than I might desire to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.” “i offered a self studying checklist to learn Spanish. I grew to become it on and went to sleep; the checklist have been given caught. the subsequent day i might desire to in common terms stutter in Spanish.” “I spilled spot remover on my canines. he's long gone now.”
2008-07-26 15:40:05 UTC
Suddenly, a familiar song. And, you're off your chair in one, exquisite movement... wondering, searching, sniffing the wind like a dapple deer. Has God heard your little prayer? Will Cinderella dance again? And then, suddenly, the crowds part and there he is: sleek, stylish... radiant with charisma. Bizarrely, he's on the telephone. But then, so are you. And then he comes towards you... the moves of a jungle cat. Although you quite correctly sense that he is... gay... like most devastatingly handsome single men of his age are, you think... what the hell. Life goes on. Maybe there won't be marriage... maybe there won't be sex... but, by God, there'll be dancing.
- some character from My Best Friend's Wedding
2008-07-26 18:42:02 UTC
If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do it for you.
Are you referring to the fact that i can't walk over a flat stable surface without finding something ot trip over? -twilight
Darling, don't worry, just elevate... something. -Sabrina
And she sings everywhere she goes. la la la....- hoodwinked.
What we do in life echoes in eternity. -Gladiator
I'm sick about all his nonesense about beauty only being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want? An adorable pancreas? -Jean Kerr
If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100-1day, so i never have to love without you. -Winnie the Pooh
Social Reject
2008-07-26 15:36:04 UTC
Give a man a boat & a fishing pole he will eat for his life give a man a religion he will sit there praying for food.
http://www.quotationspage.com/
Doc
2008-07-26 15:38:45 UTC
Sorry, I don't recall who said it but...
"Those who bite the hand that feeds them, also lick the boot that kicks them."
"Life is tough. It's even tougher when you're stupid." -- John Wayne
2008-07-26 17:30:31 UTC
yesterday is history tommorow is a mystery and 2day is a gift thats why they call it tha present-lil wayne
also
god might put you through hell to get you to heaven-T.I.
babalu
2008-07-26 17:46:21 UTC
there are always 3 sides to a story; your side, my side, and the truth
Hagarai Seiji
2008-07-26 15:40:41 UTC
"Love is to the hart, what water is to the Earth"
Hope you like my randome writing...
questioning
2008-07-26 15:36:00 UTC
Those are not my shoes officer
PHAM
2008-07-26 15:41:04 UTC
" If you ask stupid questions you will get stupid answer"
-PHAM
joshartist
2008-07-26 15:36:10 UTC
for you, why am i so flat chested?
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