You should be more specific and pick a category, plus it is all up to the discretion of what one considers to be funny. Here is a small part of what I consider to be funny and have collected over the years.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
A Haiku is just like a normal American poem except that it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid.
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
Never judge a book by its movie.
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars.
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
There are a lot more.